Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
How's work?
Spinning.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize