we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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