Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
