I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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