I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
