would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
