the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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