I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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