You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
