dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
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