I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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