Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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