she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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