that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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