I showed him my bush... on skype.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
