i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
