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apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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