; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
