I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
