I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
