When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
