That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
i out mim tonsoeep
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