happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i think my cat just said my name.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
