Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
