All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize