The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
