I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
