You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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