Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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