Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
