your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
