i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
