I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
