Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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