do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
porn star boner night. come get it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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