yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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