is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
