where am i from again
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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