What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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