So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I wanna passion pit in your ass
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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