I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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