guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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