dude i'm inner monologue high
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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