so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize