Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
