she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
