haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
