god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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