You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize