I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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