dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
