i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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