He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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