I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
