you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
