i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I look better un-naked...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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