Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I will pee on everything he values.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
