She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
