He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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