I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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