Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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